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The Munchies

The Munchies,
By Jin Kee

Once upon a time a young woman called Mary woke up in a field somewhere near her home town. Her head hurt a lot and she couldn't remember much of last night, but it was a pleasant enough day and the soft breeze and gentle roll of the grass made her feel at ease enough to sit up and take stock.

Presently a man called Tom walked up from the bottom of the hill.

"Hello Mary," said Tom.
"Hello Tom," said Mary, "Where are we?"
"I don't know," said Tom.
"Are you hungry?" asked Mary.
"Yes," said Tom, "My head hurts and I'm very hungry."

They walked down the hill until they came to a road.

On the side of the road, they met a small band of travellers. There was Mr Fisher the butcher. Sam the school teacher. Mrs Finchley from the horse farm. The local priest was tagging along the rear.

"Hullo," said Mary, "We're looking for something to eat."
"Shh!" said Mrs Finchely, "Not so loud. We all have terrible headaches."
"Oh," said Tom, "Are you going to town as well?"
"Yes," said the priest, "Do join us."

The town was warmed by a roaring fire. Many other groups of travellers, some in rags, were converging on the town and searching the houses for food.

"I smell something," said Mary.
"Something good," said Mr Fisher.
"There!" cried the priest.

They all saw it, high up in an attic window of one of the buildings: A roast chicken, huge, as big as a large man.

"Hooray!" cried the band of travellers. They all strolled to the building and tried to find a way in. Fortunately the door was flimsy, and the weight of all the famished bodies crashing into it was enough to make it give way.

"Hooray!" cried the travellers, as they walked up the stairs.

"Dear me," said Mary as she ambled at the head of the pack., "This place seems awfully familiar."
"It does too," said Tom, "It's my house! I used to live here, with my sister and my parents."

The attic door gave way.

"Hooray!" cried the ecstatic crowd.

"It's my house too," said Mary, "You don't suppose we're related?"

A loud gunshot was heard. Suddenly, Tom was nowhere to be seen.

"That chicken has a gun," said Mary, walking over and knocking it out of the chicken's wings.

"Mmm," said the crowd.

Mary sat down with the chicken, and took a large bite.

"Dad!" said Mary.

"Mary?" said her dad.

"How did you get here?"

"I don't know," said her father, "All I know is I've got a splitting headache and I'm very hungry."

"I'm full," said Mary, "But let's have a walk, and maybe we'll find a bite to eat."


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 4th, 2009 10:50 am (UTC)

...I like it.
Apr. 5th, 2009 09:20 am (UTC)
Hee - I'm in the Zombie Survival group so I got to see this twice. And I had no problem with that whatsoever - because it's awesome!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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