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There Will Be Food

Teh original scene ripped from twbb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4inIaEuGnY


And now Cat theater presents:
There Will Be Food (end scene)
p: Sera, I'm asking if you'll help me ask the humans in filling my crunchy bowl.
I'm offering to help you fill one of the great unfilled food bowls of this street.
s: I'd be happy to work with you.
p: yes? Yes of course, that's wonderful...
s: but there is one condition, for this work...
p: allright
s: I'd like you to meow like a punk ass kitty. I'd like you to howl like a punk ass kitty who is afraid of everything.
p: but that's lie. I cannot say it.
(beat)
p: When can we ask the humans?
s: very soon.
p: When will the food come in?
s: Oh it won't take long.
p: I want half the crunchy bag.
And I want the five crunchies in the crunchy ball you owe me, with interest.
s: That's only fair.
(beat)
p: mow. if that's what you want to hear, then
s: say it like you mean it
p: Sera...
s: Say it like your parents have gone to europe and left you in the hands of an incompetent geneticist. Don't purr. Stand up. Put your water down.
p: Mow.
s: pedro, pedro stop. Just imagine both your parents are overseas, and your catsitter isn't letting you outside to pee. And you have a full bladder.
p: Mow.
s: Say it again.
p: Mow.
s: He can't hear you at the back of the house.
p: Mow!
s: Say it again.
p: Mow! Mow wow wow!
s: say it again.
p: MOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!
s: Say it again.
p: MOW WOW WOW OW WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!
s: that crunchy bowl has been filled.
(beat)
s: that crunchy bowl has been filled.
p: no it hasn't...
s: Yes, it's called Pwnage, pedro. you see I pwn everything around it, so I get what's inside it.
p: but there's no crunchies in that bowl. This is, uh, the green bowl. Do you understan, Sera?
s: Do *you* understand pedro? That's more to the point, do you understand? I drink your water. I drink it up. Every day, I drink the blood of mice from the green bowl.
(beat)
you can sit down again.
p: oh sera... Oh sera... please... I'm in, I'm in desperate times...
s: I know.
p: I need a friend.
s: yes of course you do.
p: I've been naughty.
s: ...
p: I need help. I eat possums.
s: It's a hard life for little cats.
p: Oh yes it is, oh MOW WOW WOW WOW.
s: oh mow wow wow.
p: My humans completely failed to tell me about the current crisis in our economy and my investments... well I won't bore you sera, but this... I must have this sera. I haven't eaten for years and years....
s: but you're not the chosen brother pedro, I am. You know I am the one that your cat sitter bought the crunchy ball for. not you. me. I tell you the funny thing. While you sleep in the master bedroom I ask the housemate for crunchies and he gives them to me *bam* half a bag just like that. I've hurked up some in a safe place in his room. I'm saving at about a third of a bag a day, so I can go back and eat it whenever I like. You, you're just a fluffy pillow. You're a couch ornament. They should have stuffed you and put you on a mantlepiece. That bowl has been had. nothing you can do about it. It's gone. had.
p: don't say that, don't. If you would just help me ask the humans sera...
s: PWNAGE! PWWWWWWWWWWNAGE! you boy. Pwned dry. gone! so sorry. here. if you have a crunchy bowl, and I have a crunchy bowl. And I walk across the room - here I come - And I start to pwn your crunchies.... I EAT YOUR CRUNCHIES! NOM OM OM OM OM! I EAT THEM UP!
p: Don't bully me sera...
s: SHUUUT UP!
p: **whack whack whack!**
s: oh ow.
p: bugger this. I'm going off to eat random native species.
s: I think I'm dying... ow.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
17catherines
Mar. 9th, 2009 01:49 am (UTC)
s: Say it like your parents have gone to europe and left you in the hands of an incompetent geneticist.

*giggles for quite some time*
maxdrag0n
Mar. 9th, 2009 12:09 pm (UTC)
LOL
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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