?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

BLACK SCREEN
TITLE CARD: a film directed by m night shyamalan

A watery, rippling circle of light fades into view. A CROONER sings over a scratchy radio "I'm so lonely, so lonely and ever alone..."

Suddenly the rippling cirlce of light is shattered as if by a splash. We pull back and see the image is being displayed on a modern desktop computer monitor in a dark bedroom. The reforming circle of light is more like a spider web or a shattered windscreen.

We pull back further and see a TEENAGED KID is sitting in front of the monitor transfixed by the image on the screen. Rotating around we see the face of the TEENAGED KID mesmerised.

Push in on the iris. It's constricting, the pupil narrowing to a tiny hard black dot before finally vanishing. The iris is a beautiful disk, like a richly textured jewel.

As the music fades into a scary noise that builds to a crechendo four dots appear on the iris in a square pattern. We think that they are four new pupils until one is suddenly one is suddenly pierced from the inside by a long cruel bright steel needle.

CUT TO BLACK
TITLE CARD: CORALINE 2


SPOILER ALERT

m night shyamalan protested that he wanted to make this a teen coming of age movie, but the studio insisted that it be marketed as a thriller.

Coraline is now 17. About 10 years ago her family gets divorced, and coraline and her father moved to small town america. Three years ago, a kid falls into the cursed well where the beldam's hand is imprisoned along with the Key of Worlds and ends up being beldam food.

Newly invigorated by the fresh soul meal, the beldam climbs out of the well. She buys the old house and evicts/eats the tennants and becomes an entrapraneur.

The beldam builds an addictive internet MMO role playing game which is alluded to be called but never stated as being "WORLD OF WEBCRAFT". Players are able to quest and level grind but also create original content. Unfortunately poopsocking your way to level 60 in this game and building your dream castle costs you both credit card payments and your soul.


The beldam ammasses hundreds of souls which she uses to make her MMO the most addictive ever, and kids are found all over the country as shrivled husks starved to death in front of their computers.


Coraline manages to find her triangular seeing stone again, and notices that one kid who collapses in the school library (the week before the prom) was playing "WORLD OF WEBCRAFT" and has buttons for eyes.


Coraline must spend summer break traveling back to her old house to confront the beldam... who was her real mother all along!

Just then the phone rings and her other mother whispers "seven days".

But if the beldam was her real mother, THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

M night shyamalan appears in a cameo role as a perverted film critic/level 80 player, who builds a fantasy castle online and dies giving his soul so that he can enjoy eternal roman showers given to him by cats.


THE TWIST IS: OMG! WE ARE ALL THE BELDAM! LONELY AND UNABLE TO CREATE ANYTHING ORIGINAL!!!

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
foxe
Jan. 30th, 2010 02:21 pm (UTC)
*laughing* I <3 you.
deathbyshinies
Jan. 30th, 2010 02:28 pm (UTC)
Congratulations. You are actually more disturbing than Neil Gaiman.
deathbyshinies
Jan. 30th, 2010 02:28 pm (UTC)
Oops, I meant him, not you foxe! :P
thekit
Jan. 30th, 2010 05:01 pm (UTC)
Neil Gaiman insists that if this movie is going to get made, the sound track consists entirely of Amanda Palmer's new stuff.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

August 2015
S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Page Summary

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Naoto Kishi